Of course you don't recognize the word. It isn't one as far as I know. Consider its implications, though. The meaning would indicate an action of spinning toward center. We are constantly spinning inward as we consider choices we encounter as our world 'vibe' becomes more in-tense. There is a statement that a dear friend made, now a member of my Dead Council, that has stuck with me as much as any other to date. The statement was this: 'There is no ego without wego.' Simple and profound isn't it? What does it really mean? I think we learn it as children and teenagers while we are developing our desire and will to succeed. Each of us has this basic mechanism intact at our center.
Think back for a moment to when you were a teenager. With respect to the potential diversity of backgrounds, most of us were peering into the immediate future with trepidation and tenacity, so we bought into the competition game. It was an outward display of our ego, attempting to be as magnificent as it could be in the light of day. On the other hand we were shy and timid, avoiding the obvious harm that we could see the egos of others inflicting on each other. The pure ego enjoyed life, the competition, and the challenge without attachment. It participated in the moment for the shear pleasure of it [the moment] in most cases. Just look at teenagers today if you are forgetting. They are so 'in the moment' focused that life is totally about THEM. WE were just as engaged. Some of us still are, unfortunately. We haven't grown past the self-centeredness of the ego.
What we had the opportunity of learning was the difference in how it made us feel inside. This was usually never talked about though. We were expected to perform, keep complaints to a minimum, and never talk about our feelings. Now we have a whole generation of rap singers (I cringe at 'singers') that are shouting their feelings at the top of their lungs capacity to project their voices. Why do you think that is happening? You guessed it... our suppression of them in the past. Not the teenagers... the emotions and expression of feelings. Even with the 'make love not war' generation, as intense as it was, was mostly silent in their expression of emotions en masse. We were pissed off about the war, wanting to find love and affection instead, turning on and tuning out. Now we are faced with the results and aren't even aware of what is happening, or why, in some cases.
We do know what is happening though. We are learning about the direction that the ego has to take to truly self-express. We've been taught to deny it, suppress it, go beyond it, put it aside, and stuff it. How about integrating it? It would seem that the ultimate goal of the ego is not self-recognition... Self-recognition instead. Why else would we be so obsessive about ourselves? What about ME? We ALL do it. So let's follow that natural stream of consciousness, spinning inward toward center... or where ever we happen to stop. What do you think we would find there... Center? Right back where we were as teenagers. The difference is now we have the wisdom to recognize that we all have commonality beyond scientific sameness. When we find center, we find others, too. We begin to recognize the natural flow toward collaboration and sharing of energy, time and resources that bring happiness and prosperity to everyone involved. That is the FEELING of WEGO.
Currently there are pockets of people around the world that are working toward achieving a greater connectedness to what allows us all to move beyond polarity paradigms, releasing competition and engaging cooperation. These will grow as me move into our new millennium. People are tired of the senselessness of war and its machinery, mechanisms, and manipulations. We are moving beyond Peace (still indicates a victor and vanquished) to Harmony among people and planet. This is our next evo-leap. Make it so....
In making it so, I was given a name during a meditation that rocked my world for some time... still does. I was adopted very young and have had a lifetime of pretty bizarre experiences compared to the norm. It compels me to ask a lot of questions, including "Who am I?" as part of my natural path to awareness. Well, the question got answered directly one morning during a full moon in June of 1988 with, "You are Zendor." So naturally I was shocked and thought it best that I put the name on the shelf for a while as it was just too freaky to change my name at the time. I worked for an aerospace company and was in charge of $7 million dollars in shipments a month, was an active elder in the Mormon Church and in the throes of a divorce at the time.
So shortly thereafter I was given an opportunity to inquire further. It came by way of being asked to deliver a local metaphysical paper, the Arizona Light, to bookstores around the state. I thought it would be awesome to be able to strike up a conversation with the various psychics and sensitives I knew I would encounter and ask them about the name. The fact that they didn't know me from Adam made it even more juicy and I would be able to throw the question into the mix without seeming to be hunting for answers. What I wasn't prepared for was the responses, identical across a dozen or so people from all over the state.
My conversations would start out with the normal introductions and my purpose for being there (delivering the papers) that lead into various responses from the store clerks, owners, managers, etc. In every case there was always a few people there as well, some patrons and a card reader or psychic that was available for readings. I never asked for readings, but I did manage to engage them all in conversation. I'm quite gregarious, so conversations are not a problem. During them [conversations] I'd wait for an appropriate time to enter the question, "By the way, what do you get from the name Zendor?"
Like I said before, the responses were identical. The pause between the question and answer was unique in every case with each having their own way of pausing to 'check in' and then respond. In every case they would reply that he was a commander of a mothership. You can imagine my concern. Sure, that was great and all, but this was about me... not some being from outer space. I was bewildered and yet somewhat comforted. I felt like there was some truth to it somehow, but I wasn't sure just how. What really threw me for a loop was the last person that I asked even knew which one.
I was hosting a UFO study group at a local artist's studio/gallery in Apache Junction at the time... late 1989. I'd met the artist through a friend and really felt a wonderful connection with him - Peter Teecamp. His paintings were phenomenal. We struck up a conversation one day and soon after, the study group was launched. The year had been full of trials and tribulations as well as some fantastically connected experiences beyond your imagination, including having Jesus show up in person at a spiritual retreat with others and asking me to speak through me. His words and our side conversation were so awesome, but I digress.
After several group meetings a woman approached me and said she'd like to have a conversation over lunch soon. She's contributed to the discussions quite a bit so I was excited about the opportunity to have some time aside from the group. We met at a diner in downtown Mesa the following week. We talked about the group and various contactee experiences people had shared. I hadn't brought up the name yet as I was still intimidated by the information I'd received to date, in spite of the wild summer I'd had on multiple levels. So I asked the question and she responded the same... AGAIN. Only this time, she said, "And I know which one."
Needless to say I wasn't sure whether I wanted to know or not. Some might have jumped at the chance to know, but based on my experiences to date that was not my first inclination. I thought, "Oh shit, now I'm really in deep." After I paused and explained my reticence in having her tell me what she knew, I relinquished my fear and asked. "The New Jerusalem," was her reply. Now I was really really really feeling like I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide. How could this be? Sure, my experience seemed to validate the whole thing, but "Why me?" and "Why now?" I sat on that information for a long time... over a decade, until now.