My First 'Experience'
Many of us have experimented with various substances in our younger years, some may still. I found that trap doors are just that. They get you in but they don't necessarily let you out. However, once you find that you can open the door it is much easier to go back and do it naturally. I'm speaking of accessing realms of consciousness of course. Frank Alper, as a newly deemed Baba Ram Das, wrote extensively about the doorways along with Aldous Huxley and Carlos Castaneda. The reality was that it was only a catalyst that opened the mind to new concepts and ideologies of connectedness to ALL THAT IS. The latter being the net result, the life had to move on in the realization of it without the substances involved that opened the doors to perception. A mind that is bored with its current reality seeks stimulation regardless.
The very first time was rather surreal, beginning at a high school basketball game in another town. My best friend, the son of the assistant chief of police, was playing in reserve game prior to the varsity. We were sophomores at the time. I went with my parents, allow they had no idea what I was up to. Neither did his father when I spoke to him during the break between games, certainly with pupils dialated. I felt oddly yet more intimately connected to my surroundings and to the people I spoke to then. I also enjoyed the visual effects when I could relax and just 'watch' the scene. Or course it included the 'trails' of the basketball flying through the air, but it also brought a different 'hue' to the environment and I could sense people in a different, yet undescribable, way. Some I'd feel drawn toward while others repulsed me. It was tough to notice and not talk about it, but I was happy being a silent observer.
When we got home later, I laid down on my sister's bed (out for a slumber party) and noticed the pulsations of the room, the light undulating on the ceiling and the changes in it when car headlights would flash by. When my friend showed up later to pick me up and go out for pizza, I was quite able to function normally, nearly everything he did or said had a humorous aire to it. Especially when he turned on the windshield wipers. It was raining and difficult to see out the windshield. The contrast between a rain-covered windshield and the clearer vision after the first wipe struck me as profoundly significant and I thanked him for turning them on. That was something that usually no one does as the expectation is that when it rains, you turn your windshield wipers on. I was so into the moment that I wasn't thinking about not seeing yet, even though I was looking through the glass. So my awareness shifted again, noting that I was not fully present in the immediate engagement with my friend. Hard to speak as fast as the awareness was shifting, so I just laughed because of the sensation of freedom I perceived. Now getting the pizza was uneventful as I was able to shift into normal interactions and appear like normal. I was usually comedic and a bit off the wall anyway.
The period before finally going to sleep was the most interesting, though. I let go of my body and mind and just watched as beautiful scenes appeared, some I interacted with and some I just watched in awe. It was like I was flying around in space and visiting different worlds, the movement fluid and undefined. I remember having some conversations about the nature of reality along the way and seeing various geometric images from time to time. It felt so natural and pure in those places, like they were already real somewhere and just out of reach to us yet. It seemed like I was having a conversation with God because of the deep questions and entire scenes that came as answers. I could see how this might be something to explore more, but I certainly didn't know if this connection could be experienced again. Needless to say I kept my mouth shut in the morning, only to recap some of the goofy things.
Although I'd just recently began experimenting with psychotropics, my first real conscious experience was sitting in my high school study hall, peering at the table in front of me as I had my chin resting on my hands on top of it. As I stared at the table, I began to see layers upon layers of waveforms all nicely nestled into each other, creating the table. The most vivid point was as I could see the layers of the laminates used in the table top. It appeared as though they ebbed and flowed with my breath. The orchestration of their movement was truly amazing at the time. I could literally see the layers as waveforms, undulating to some rhythm that I could not hear....yet. In the next moment as I needed to focus on an external stimulus, I was able to shift consciousness and met the event as I normally would. Later I mused on the spontaneous shifts in consciousness that happened simply through my attention. It was pretty powerful, but as a teen there were few, if any, that could follow that type of conversation.
I know that was just a moment in time with a profound viewing of the nature of creation. To a teenager it was just a neat experience that gave a few moments of profound insights, and then was gone. What I found later was the explanation for it all, along with a growing understanding of cooperating with the natural actions of time, space, and matter. Mathematical formulas, constructing geometric shapes we all study in school, really do have a connective tissue to the foundational structure of time and space, thus facilitating the manifestation of matter. Sitting in an advanced geometry class later that day, I became aware that many of the internal images and patterns I was seeing were indeed mathematical models of these equations, passed down through discovery and revelation of earlier inquisitors of the nature of matter. I couldn't understand what it all meant then. All I knew was that I was seeing these same patterns in the movements of my mind and the traveling of my thought during those days. Unfortunately I seemed to be the only one of my group of friends that went to those depths.
Many artists and computer animation wizards are creating the same images for mandalas, wormhole effects for movies, and the imagery of the inner journey expressed on canvas. I'm still in the quest of how it flows together; to understand its significance in the natural order of our evolution, which it seems to precipitate. I learned more when I got much older. The best lesson: You can take Heaven by storm... you have to walk in on your own. What does that mean? Clean and clear, brothers and sisters... clean and clear. Anytime you have to rely on anything else other than your own conscsiousness (free of substance), there is a better way. Too often the trap door closes with folks still inside. Take the lid off and climb out of the box. It is far easier to read the labels from the outside. Awareness and behavior must perform with integrity in the universal transcendence that leads to community...One World.